This week’s episode of On the Lot was almost watchable. I fretted when Adrianna revealed that we’d be watching “six original comedies for America,” especially upon learning that such cinematic nonstarters as Shalani, David, and Hilary would be among the filmmakers presenting delicious yuks for us.

The episode started even lower-rent than the past few weeks, with Adrianna and Garry showing up at the rented house the show uses for its blase ‘interacting with the filmmakers’ sequences to reveal that, not shockingly, Film School Jessica is gone. Making Kenny Luby the only survivor of his original group. There is no justice.

Gerry and Adrianna tell the filmmakers they have just one week to make an original comedy! Whoa! And here they are:

“Doctor in Law” by Shalini – Shalini is the worst contestant who will go far in this competition, other than Jason Epperson. So I was expecting something pretty bad from her. I was surprised to find that this was only moderately bad. There’s some doofy music early on, and some terrible acting from the day-players, but you know what? It’s actually mildly funny, and there’s an understanding of character here, even if it is based in broad stereotype. I’m very impressed with Shalini not delivering another “Laughing Out Loud: A Comic Journey.” So, uh… C.

“Discovering the Wheels” by Adam – Adam’s background is in viral videos (he did that “Lazy Monday” thing that was pretty terrible a while back). So what he delivers isn’t so much a movie as an extended commercial for a Ford Mustang, with some caveman stuff (anticipating this fall’s surefire hit sitcom) and some time-travel stuff that doesn’t really make sense. Since Michael Bay isn’t here this week to hit on Shalani, Garry Marshall takes his comment time to lasciviously hit on a nearby audience member, lustful drool foaming out of his simpering jaw. Meh, whatever. I didn’t really laugh, but it reveals a moderate amount of technical skill. Let’s call this… Two Stars.

“Nerve Endings” by Will, Who is Charming – Will’s movie is about a surgical assistant touching the top of one patient’s brain and thus controlling his movement. Surprisingly, it’s actually honest-to-God kinda funny. Again, it’s more like a really well-crafted commercial than an actual movie, but I laughed (out loud!) and Mark Waters hated it, which is probably a sign that it’s pretty good. So, uh… B.

“Under the Gun” by Hilary – A mild one-joke shuck-and-jive about White Femininity Today dissolves in its final 30 seconds to a nightmare of incoherent editing, the likes of which probably has more to do with Nigerian cinematic traditions than anything resembling continuity editing. Simply inconceivable, and the original joke wasn’t even all that good. I rate this a huge meh.

“How to Have a Girl” by that Boring Guy – His name’s David, by the way, and he churns out these constipated, feckless romantic comedies with no bite, no characters, and no comedy. This one doesn’t really deviate from his established cinematic oeuvre, and it’s pretty incoherent to boot. In judging, Garry manages to find a way to throw in an artificial-hip reference to “Borack.” Mark Waters winces. Carrie was confused here, and so am I: what am I still doing watching this show? 2.3/10.0

“Die Hardly Working” by Zach, Magical Elfling – A mild success, and an ‘experimental’ film for Zach, in that he doesn’t have access to his rudimentary special effects kit. I’m just completely baffled as to how he’s become the odds-on favorite in this competition. I suppose everybody else is just a little worse than he is. Shrug.

Prediction to leave: David

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