My Five Year Plan

Jews!

LOS ANGELES - A blitzed Mel Gibson launched into an obscenity-laced tirade when he was busted on suspicion of drunken driving early yesterday, threatening an officer and making anti-Semitic and sexually abusive remarks, according to a police report.

The “Passion of the Christ” director repeatedly said, “My life is f—-d,” according to the report by Los Angeles County Deputy James Mee, which was obtained by TMZ.com. The celebrity news Web site posted excerpts of the handwritten report.

…

Gibson failed both alcohol breath and field sobriety tests, deputies said. His blood-alcohol level was .12, Deputy Anthony Moore said. The legal limit is .08 in California.

“F—–g Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world,” Mee’s report quotes him as saying. “Are you a Jew?” Gibson asked the deputy, according to the report. The actor also told the cop he “owns Malibu” and would spend all his money “to get even with me,” Mee said in his report.

TMZ quoted a law enforcement source as saying Gibson noticed a female sergeant on the scene and yelled at her, “What do you think you’re looking at, sugar t–s?”

Wow. Where can we even start? There’s just so much there there… do we address Gibson’s well-documented God-complex? The sexism? Nah. Why pussyfoot? Let’s just go straight for the Anti-Semitism. Here’s hoping that all the blurb-factory critics who gave Mel’s reprehensible exercise in Christ-snuff four-star reviews dedicate their next ‘in-depth’ articles to hypocritically excoriating the critical establishment that could let a baldly Anti-Semitic text like The Passion of the Christ go without reprobation (cut from Christ hit with whips to profile close-ups of Jews with big noses cackling).

This is not to say I’m not going to be first in line for the LOLfest that will be Apocalypto.